Blah Blah Blah

Blah Blah blah blah ljfldsjfdlaja.  That might as well be what I write in every blog entry I make.  I keep saying, I know what my problem is, I need to stop doing this and start doing that, and blah blah blah.  Seriously?!  I haven't done a single thing I have said I will start doing, and on the flipside, I haven't stopped doing things I said I would stop.  What is my problem here?!  Do I really want to have to order a size 26+ wedding dress?  Do I really want to have pictures of myself at this size?  No!  Why can't I change my life?  Why can I not stick to one single thing I say I will do??  I hate failing, and this journey so far has been an epic failure!  I'm supposed to weigh in tonight at Weight Watchers, but I don't even want to go.  This will be my 16th meeting, and I'm supposed to earn the hands charm, but I don't want to get it because I'm afraid the leader will ask how much I've lost...I would be so embarrassed to say in the past 16 weeks I've lost less than 10 lbs.  I have no clue what my weight will be.  Last night was the first time in I can't remember how long I actually cooked something for a meal, and of all things it was spaghetti.  I guess that is better than eating out like I have been.  I'm wasting so much money by going out, and I'm definitely not helping my weight situation.  Everyone who's ever been successful at weight loss has said that you have to WANT to do it, no one can force you.  Do I want to do it?  It seems like I want crap food more...

I sure hope I can get my head on straight quickly.......