I've been terrible at doing any of the things the past couple of months that I have said I am going to do. The only thing I have been doing pretty faithfully is reading Katie's Blog. She is so inspirational, and if I could be motivated by anyone it would be her. Everyone always says you have to be ready to lose weight, and no one can make that decision for you. I have had so many things that should be motivation ($100 for every 20lbs I lose from my aunt, $200 for the first 20 lbs from my future MIL, etc) but I still haven't done it. I got a slap in the face last week when I called to make a payment on my wedding dress and the woman at the store said I would need to order it by the end of Jan. Holy crap that is next month! I have let this whole year since my engagement go by saying that I am going to lose weight and look great in my wedding dress, and I haven't lost a single pound. I actually haven't been on the scale in awhile, and I would not be surprised if I've gained weight.
This morning I watched the finale of this season's The Biggest Loser on Hulu. This was the season I auditioned for. These contestants have all made a HUGE change in their lives, and I've been sitting on the sideline. After it was over, I decided I was going to workout. I haven't done anything related to fitness in months. I went in the backroom and dusted off the treadmill, then jumped on. I did tried to do the trainer demo that is built in. It started off nice and slow (2.5). The incline started increasing, and then the speed increased (3.0). All of a sudden, the speed jumped to 4.0, which really isn't that fast, but for someone as out of shape as I am, it was killer. I have to run to keep that pace! I'm not even sure how long I was able to stick with it. If I had to guess, I would say probably about 3 minutes. It felt like the back of my throat was bleeding, and I got a terrible cramp in my foot! I felt pretty pathetic...I jumped off for about 30 seconds, and then got back on after I slowed it down to about 2.5. I kept up with the increasing incline for awhile, but then I slowly started reducing that too. All in all, I only did about 11 minutes. I'm going to try again tomorrow.
Tonight is this celebration thing for us graduates of nursing school. My parents, my sisters, and my grandparents are coming from about 100 miles away to see it, and they are staying the night because graduation is tomorrow. I cannot believe it is already graduation! It doesn't seem real. I often think about the stress I'm feeling right now, since I still haven't been able to find a nursing job, and then I think of how we were originally planning our wedding for this January. I would be in a NUT HOUSE right now if that were still the case (now it is going to be the end of September).
As far as the job hunt goes, I have applied for 11 different positions, have received 4 rejection notices, and have only heard back somewhat positive from one place, with nothing from the rest. I say somewhat positive because I have to attend this "test drive" for graduate nurses. It is about 3 hours away from where I am now, and it sounds like anyone who meets the qualifications for the position is invited, but they said to treat it as an interview. The biggest struggle for me is getting that initial interview. I stand out better in person, than on paper, so hopefully it will get my name out there!
I know I don't have many readers (I may not have any??), but I am going to try to be more consistent about writing in my blog. Even if nobody reads it, I can hopefully at least release a little stress by getting it out.
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