Excuses

My mom and I were talking the other day about the things that were holding back my weight loss.  I kept saying "my biggest downfall is X."  Then I'd say well actually its X.  She said that she feels like I keep putting off weight loss in the hopes that I'll be selected for the Biggest Loser.  Well that doesn't apply anymore.  The Detroit open call is today, and even though I'm in the Detroit area this weekend, I wont be going.  Filming is going to be right in the middle of my final semester of nursing school.  I am willing to give up and put off a lot of things for the opportunity to be on the BL, but the one thing I wont do is put off the last semester of nursing.  When I finish this semester and graduate in December, it will finally be a new chapter of my life.  I wont be in school for the very first time in 23 years.  I can't even imagine what it will be like.  I'm excited, but I'm also nervous about finding a job.

Now that I've gone way off topic, back to the things holding back my weightloss...
After my mom said what she did, I said "NO, you know what the one thing holding back my weightloss is???  EXCUSES!"  I keep making excuses, and I'm not sure why or how to stop.  I absolutely HAVE to get myself under control! As I say that, I'm looking at the empty bag of Burger King I had for breakfast.  I disgust myself... 

I've got my rewards

Today I thought about some of the things I want for myself.  Some are little, and some are bigger, which is perfect for the different goals I have.  So here are the things I am going to reward myself with as I lose weight (and get healthy)!

15 lbs -> Sip n Go waterbottle  http://www.buysipngo.com/
20 lbs -> pedicure
10% -> new shoes
35 lbs -> Heart rate monitor
50 lbs -> Massage
75 lbs -> nook
100 lbs -> xbox with kinect
Final goal -> tattoo

Pain problems

I only posted through Tuesday last week.  I think it is because I made terrible choices that I didn't want to fess up to on here.  I was afraid of admitting my failure.  But that is one of the reasons I have a blog to write in, so I can be held accountable.  I am going to make it my goal to write in this blog even if I've had a bad day, week, etc.

My weigh in Thursday was a bust.  I was really disappointed because I felt like I had done better than the week before.  But when I look at the blog, I stopped writing on Tuesday, so Wednesday and Thursday weren't good days.  I gained a pound, and I just have to admit that I deserved the gain.  I keep finding myself saying, "this is the last time I ____"  Usually it revolves around going out and getting something terrible to eat.  No more this is the last time!

I got 2 bondibands in the mail on Friday.  I was so excited!  I sweat all of the time, and when I work out it is almost unbearable.  We left Friday night to go out of town, and didn't get back until Sunday night, so I haven't used them yet. 

I really wanted to get some exercising in starting today.  That is definitely not going to happen today.  Yesterday on the drive home, I started having some really bad pain in my back.  It just got progressively worse.  After finally getting home, I ended up lying down.  I was still in so much pain.  I was sobbing my back hurt so bad.  It felt like there was a sword piercing through my shoulder blades, and whenever I moved, I felt like the sword was twisting.  Scott did all he could, but nothing was helping.  I woke up this morning still in a ton of pain.  I called clinical and told them I wouldn't be able to make it.  I eventually went to the Medexpress/University Health Center on the campus of my school because it is cheap for students.  They gave me a shot of toradol, prescribed me a muscle relaxer and some other kind of medication for pain, and told me not to go back to work until tomorrow.  I took the muscle relaxer when I got home and passed out.  Thankfully shot of toradol worked, so I was able to get some better sleep than I did last night.  I'm still in quite a bit of pain right now.  Hopefully tomorrow I feel quite a bit better so I can go to school and clinical.

I am still working on making rewards for goals I meet...I'll post them when I figure them out!

(Non-food) Rewards

Ok so I totally blew last night...why am I letting myself  fail here?!?  I did fine when I finally went into the kitchen.  I made chicken rice like I planned, which was 15 points.  Done for the day.  Then my fiance is texting me, "I'm hungry."  I was like yeah, me too...but was I really, or was I just bored and lonely??  So anyway, he asks if I want him to pick something up, and I said it was his choice.  He asked me what I wanted...I said cheese bread...way to go Danielle, terrible choice.  Before he even gets home, I had one two mini twix ice cream bars...I don't even know how many points they are.  Then he brings home 3-cheeser bread from Hungry Howies around 9:30pm and I eat an entire half of it.  Yuck!  I don't even want to know how many points that was, especially because I dipped it in garlic sauce.

So, everyone's blogs who are having success have some type of reward system for themselves, and I think that is a good idea.  The only problem is, when I think of rewarding myself, I think of food, and I need to break that now.  I need to find myself some non-food rewards.  Any ideas that you guys have would be greatly appreciated!

McDonalds

Hmm what to say about today.  It was my first day of phlebotomy clinicals.  I really for the most part just watched.  Hopefully I can get my hands dirty the next time.

All I have had to eat today is McDonalds...so much for my fresh start huh?  I'm not too terribly disappointed in myself because I am still within my points.  I haven't eaten dinner yet, and I have 15 points left.  This morning I woke up way late, and stopped on my way into clinical and got a sausage mcmuffin for 13 points and a hashbrown for 4.  On the way back, I picked up a 10 piece chicken nugget for 10 points, and apple dippers with caramel for 2 points.  I had about 10 minutes to change and leave for work when I got home, so that was my excuse for stopping.  I'm starving right now, but I don't even want to walk into the kitchen because I'm afraid I'll eat everything in site.  I do have a plan of what I am going to make (chicken rice), I just have to go in there and stick to it.  I also don't want to go in there because it is HOT!  We don't have central air, we just have a window air conditioner in the bedroom.  That is where we spend most all of our time during hot summers like the one we have been having.  We just shut the door and turn the bedroom into an icebox.

I get so crabby when it is hot...for any that don't know, in Michigan, its not the heat that'll kill you, its the humidity.  You walk outside and the heat/humidity just takes your breath away.  Yuck!  My manager at work is always cold.  So today, she says "is anyone else cold?? I'm freezing!" I'm like "Nope, I even have my fan on!"  (I have this teeny fan that I put wherever I'm working that day)  Later on I was starting to feel hot.  When I went to the back to get my purse, I saw that the air conditioning was turned off...instead of raising the temp, she turned it OFF!  Seriously? I was a little peeved.  I'm wearing about the coolest outfit I can for working at a bank...there is not taking off layers or anything to cool down...why don't people who are cold put on a sweater?!  But I can't say that because she's the boss...Ugh, hopefully she doesn't do that again the rest  of the week because we aren't supposed to get a break from this weather!

Reappearing

Well I disappeared for awhile already and I just started writing last week.  Yay me...

I did so well last week until Thursday.  I weighed in and was up 0.8.  I tried to tell myself that it was still probably a loss from the week before when I didn't weigh since I did SO bad.  Plus I started my TOTM Thursday morning. blahh.  I was still a little discouraged.  So what did I do?? I went to lunch with my future MIL.  We had Mexican, and I actually had less than normal, but it still wasn't very smart.  I had 2 cheese enchiladas, and cheese dip and chips.  Ok so move on right? Wrong!  That night after I was done with preceptoring, my fiance Scott and I went to Applebees for 1/2 off appetizers after 8.  I had mozzarella sticks, and 2 bowls of potato cheese soup.  Ok, so I had a bad food day overall, tomorrow is a fresh start right? 

Turns out the fresh start ended up being 2 cheesy bacon wrappers from Burger King.  Then I skipped lunch since I was at work.  We went out to Mt. Pleasant since Scott was going to a concert out there, and we met my sister and her boyfriend and had Mexican again....My sister and I went to see the new Harry Potter while the boys were at the concert.  We didn't get anything to eat there, likely because we were running so late we were afraid we'd miss the start of the movie!  After the movie, we went to a Coney Island and I got cheese sticks and french fries...Seems to be a trend here...

I need to pick myself up from this weekend!  Tomorrow starts a couple of weeks filled with half day of work, half day of clinical (or whole day of clinical on my day off of work).  I'm going to need to plan ahead so that I have decent lunches so I don't constantly want to stop at fast food.

Ok Danielle, we can do this!

Day 2, and the beginning of 3

I could have made a few better choices yesterday, but overall I stayed within my points.  Actually I didn't even eat all of my points.  During the class I was helping at, my stomach started growling about a half hour before we were going to do dinner.  When I did start eating though, I didn't feel very hungry.  The only thing I really noticed when I did start eating is that I was pretty shaky.  After the class was over at 9, on my way home I was constantly thinking about food, specifically fast food.  I really wanted to stop, and I would have stopped anywhere.  But the thing that I kept thinking about was that I really couldn't afford it.  I kept saying, " you need that money to put gas in the car."  It worked for once.  I didn't stop anywhere, and when I got home I got ready for bed.  When I got in bed, I was laying there with my hunny, and my stomach starts growling.  I just put that out of my mind and went to bed.  

I still haven't eaten breakfast yet this morning, and its now 9:45.  I keep walking in the kitchen to get something to eat, and then I walk out because there is nothing in there that I want.  I don't even know what it is I want though!

Here is to making it through Day 3!

Day 1

I am actually pretty proud of myself today.  I had a bowl of cheerios and an apple for breakfast.  Then I took my dog to the vet.  He has had this thing on his ear, and they said that it is a growth that we need to remove.  The visit today was $41, and to have the growth removed it is going to be around $200-$250.  That made me a little bit depressed.  My fiance and I are pretty broke right now.  So I was sitting there feeling sorry for myself and trying to figure out how we would pay for this unexpected expense.  Normally when I'm feeling that way, I'll eat.  And eat...  And eat some more....  

Today I didn't though!  Don't get me wrong...I was really tempted too, but I didn't.  I think part of it was laziness, but there was some willpower involved as well!  I then went to a class that I am preceptoring for.  Before I left, I made part of my dinner to take since the class is 2p-9p.  I packed potato straws and grapes, and I picked up a slim 1 from Jimmy Johns.  Not the best thing to have, especially since I'm complaining about being broke, but all of the stuff we had at the house would have needed to be microwaved, and I wasn't sure if there would be one available.

The class went really well.  I really enjoyed it!  It will be Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday also this week.

I've actually already written more than I had planned...I have a terrible headache (which I think is from the heat and humidity), so I think I'm going to go to bed.  Hopefully tomorrow I will make good choices.

First Post-Getting Started

Well, I think it is about time  way overdue that I make the first entry in this blog.  I've only had it since, ohh April.  Its now July; pretty pathetic.  I've just been reading about other people's challenges and success, but now I am going to try to start posting about my own journey.

So I started Weight Watchers on March 24 of this year.  I've only managed to lose a total of 9.4 lbs since then.  I either do really well, or I do terribly.  I haven't counted points in so long.  I think I've missed 2 or 3 meetings since March.  I really need to get my butt in gear.  

These are the incentives people I love have given me to help me lose weight:

• After I reach the first 20 lbs of weight loss, my future Mother-in-law is going to give me $200 towards my wedding dress.
• My aunt is going to give me $100 for every 20 lbs I lose.  If I lose 100 lbs, she will give me $1000.00
• I've always held on to clothes in my closet forever, saying I'll wear it again when I lose weight.  In an effort to get me to get rid of them, my mom told me she will buy me all new clothes when I lose the weight.

Seriously...if those aren't enough motivation for me then I don't know what will be!

This past February, I went to Chicago to audition for The Biggest Loser season 12.  I also made a video.  I didn't get a call back.  I was planning on auditioning again for season 13, which is in Detroit at the end of this month, but I found out filming would take place starting in around October and probably last somewhere around 14-20 weeks.  I wouldn't even be able to go on the show because I have my last semester of nursing school starting at the very end of August and going through December when I graduate.  I may still attend the audition because it was a lot of fun even though I froze my ass off in Chicago!  Wouldn't it suck though if I got picked for the season I couldn't even do it???


I think I've rambled in this post long enough...but I'll post each weigh in I've had since I started Weight Watchers:

3/24/11 = 276 (Starting weight)

3/30/11 = 270.8 (-5.2)   Total -5.2

4/6/11 = 274 (+3.2) Total -2

4/13/11 = missed 

4/20/11 = 268 (-6) Total -8

4/28/11 = 268.4 (+0.4) Total -7.6

5/7/11 = 269 (+0.6) total -7

5/10/11 = 265.2 (-3.8) total -10.8

5/19/11 = missed

5/26/11 = 269 (+3.8) total -7

6/2/11 = 266 (-3) total -10

6/9/11 = 267 (+1) total -9

6/16/11 = 262.6 (-4.4) total -13.4

6/23/11 = 268.2 (+5.6) total -7.8

6/30/11 = 266.6 (-1.6) total -9.4

7/7/11 = missed